Give Away What You Love: The Feather and the Mirror

I read a friends accounting of her meeting with an artisan named Calisto, a traditional Hawai’ian woodworker.  He drove up to her house one day to buy a wheelbarrow from her. Both she and Calisto immediately knew that their coming together was for more than a financial transaction and they spoke of things well beyond words and mundane “accountings.” Their friendship burgeoned. Recently, he surprised her with a beautiful gift lovingly made from some tamarind wood she’d found and given him the day before. So moved, she gave him some bundled sage and a most auspicious feather she’d kept with her for years. As she watched him drive off in his truck, a beautiful owl came to roost on a fence post nearby. Intended for him, he returned the tamarind wood, sculpted and inlaid with a mirror. He gave her something formed from his own heart in which to reflect. And he took with him something quite dear to her heart.

I am moved by the story. I am moved by the gentle intersections of human paths. The transience and the eternity. What we remember is the flare of the flame as the flint of one strikes the frizzen of the other. Even after this, even if the flame returns to the sun, we are left living in the present with the persistence of its warmth and light. We become the effects of our engagements if we nourish ourselves in the graceful orbit of encountering objects.

Everything is a love affair and we often attach this to notions of the transient and carnal. And this habit of attachment causes us to miss the real Truth of love because we become caught in the gravity of falsity and we reason around illusion. One cannot wash away mud with mud. Whenever I meet a beloved, I am somehow breaking the binds of illusion. Love is water for the earth, sun for the leaf, air for flight.

She gave him a feather that she kept as if her own for so long. The falling feather has been a reoccurring omen and talisman in my life. And while I hold no idols for God, I do believe He manifests messages in all things that fall to earth. So I see everyone and everything as the word of One ultimate true Being…even idols.

So we give away what is loved the most. We return a golden fish to the river, a bird to the sky. The ocean is in the pearl we find in each oyster, we can remove the pearl from the shell, but never posses its greater essence. Each plume belongs in the wing of love… it is not ours to keep and does little unless part of that which allows us to fly. I’m grateful to meet people who let things go… truths given for greater truths.

So when I see an owl fly, a fish swim, or a beloved drift on, I am reminded of my indissoluble presence with the universe. She and Calisto are each feathers in the wing, and the wing is within each of them. Even me now.

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Posted in essay, uncategorized, vignette | 2 Comments

Centerpiece of Meaning

What is knowledge
if it is not shining down upon her face
Who is to know,
who is to know
To the canvas from which color leaps
she is the gesso, I imagine it so
I imagine it so

What is rapture
if not the doing of her own work in ascension
then creation must be her undoing
of all that is done
of all she has done

and love, oh of love
what is this elusive and lambent specter
if not her dissolving into a mist
over every morning pond
she is the stillness in the calm
the saccharine in the nectar

What then is mystery’s allure
if not her fleeting morning poem
when I wake
dreams are gone
she remains, yet I’m alone

What is beauty in the fabric
but the splendor behind the veiling
She is the light for my reflection
I’m a ripple in her perfection
She is the centerpiece of God’s revealing.

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Posted in love poems, Poems Beyond Their Words, poetry | 4 Comments

We Danced in Circles

Prelude from that volcano

Red hot words flew up from the caldera
and with applause fell in confetti flakes of ash.
Drifting through the metal haze,
softening down in dirty velvet waves
of sheets to become pressed and rubbed and ground
and shaved and shattered into tiny round
sand grains.

Then came
the sea; en echelons of endless shushes
to retrieve the broken beauty of
the cool and condensing exiled words.

From seaside dunes to singing sands,
nothing spoken in sentences…
just sea weed and bear grass.
Long lithe swords stirred by winds
swept up in rising thermals, kindled by
some emotion,
weeping or wailing in unutterable tones
and sighs and moans,
In harmony with the melodious ocean.

They danced in circles,
around the fire.
Each a gem in a bezels knot,
through the facets of their lanterns glass,
refracting flames
their meaning hot,
turning aloes wood,
to snapping embers.
On the rising ashes,
drift Names remembered,
flowing forms
in silhouette;
a qawwali
of a Dervish sohbet.

These sentient words are
the blood between us.
Your sentence is
to understanding
As the tongue is
to an ear.

I think of you with each thought,
at each turn.
Whether pirouette, or shunning twist
you are the fruit
on the edge of a limb;
That I may crawl to clutch
or catch you as you descend.

‘Tis my thinking that cast shadows.
Every thought, your axis, matters.
Spin beloved,
by your trailing skirt.
Stirs the dust along your path
and when my dusted thoughts are still,
your turn, that thought,
my ever last.

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In the Scorch of Love

Looking into the lens of his eyes
she pleas,
“Where did my poet go?
When did our paths part?”
Her questions echo in emptiness, for
the poems had drained from her spacious heart.

He left her in the storm of his silence,
unspoken words stirring the sprigs.
Bending boughs in the rising breeze,
one-by-one the needles loosed
from the branches of brittle memories.

The last she truly saw him,
her eyes were closed
and their lips kissed the other’s last breath.
“I’ve been carried away from you,” he’d said,
“in the smoke of my fire’s death.”

The earth they left is scorched and gray,
scarred by fallen trees and ashen drifts,
but for a green blade of the first pine sapling
pushing up, sipping daylight
through a shadowed narrow rift.

Whenever a raincloud passes by
she’s reminded of her poet’s pyre.
She gathers love from drops of words,
pouring them onto her poems, she cries,
“Oh, if only one tear could put out this eternal fire.”

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The Pillars of the Ride

in the wheel(Day 9 of the Ramadan Riding series)

1. There is No Bike Path, but One Bike Path.

There is no path, but one path, no matter which direction you go or how many trails you ride – even across separate days, it’s still the one path; I call it “the Ride.” The bike, the rider, the pavement below the wheels are all one, and the “true” rider is the mystic within us, not simply the “body” in the seat. During the ride the heart of the mystic speaks to the mind and body of the rider; it is a voice within a voice and if we are not aware of it, the ride becomes miserable. It is best to set and harken one’s intention at the beginning of the ride, that we are alone and one with the bike and the path. This is necessary for clarity, simplicity, and comfort during the pain of pedaling, for there is a difference between pain and discomfort. There is no ride if we are only pedaling.

2. Riding is Prayer and Meditation.

Riding is quintessentially a fluid journey through long periods of reverent silence along a straight line. The mind is free to wander, yet there are things we must do on the bike to keep our course and tempo; and then there are those things we must do on the ride “itself.” This is where the mind must speak to the heart and holds faith that the heart guides the mind’s will through the cycles of pain and ease. Pain is a poor guide for how well we are biking. There is a joy in submitting to the ride itself and this joy is the guide. At the height of an experience on the ride, there is a voice that speaks to us, whom we also speak to. It is a mistaken duality – we can “speak to be heard” and “be silent to hear” at the same time. Riding is a conversation with the true self.

3. Biking is Giving

If I pull over during my ride, another passing rider inevitably asks, “You okay?” I’ve seen many riders pause his ride, dismount his bike, and provide his last spare tire and assistance to another in need; this is what allows the giver to know that if he is ever in trouble himself, another rider will help him. In a cycling group, one rider will take the place as the lead rider, when the leader becomes weary. It is far easier to stay back in the pack, than lead; in this sense, leading is giving and giving is leading. At the Tour de France, second place Jan Ulrich passed Lance Armstrong after Armstrong fell due to a careless spectator. Instead of racing ahead, Ulrich waited for Armstrong to dust himself off and get back on the bike. Ulrich eventually lost the race – but did he lose the ride? Giving is honoring.

4. Riders are Spiritually Sated by Their Bodily Thirst

Riders get hungry, tired, and uncomfortable. In fact, there is seldom a true ride where this isn’t the case. In fact, we signed up for it when we got on the bike. This is what differentiates the rider-body from the rider-mystic! We become better under hardship and so the ride grows easier. The experience of moving along a trail in a sense of “time and speed induced impoverishment” creates ecstatic states as the body and mind submit to the heart and to the senses beyond our senses. A weary rider is stripped of his guard and becomes ultimately vulnerable but ironically empowered; and if he completes the ride, becomes the euphoric mystic. Spirit is nourishment for a hungering rider.

5. Every Biker is a Pilgrim

As all paths are one, so every ride I take is the same as that taken by all who have gone before, or who will go after. The lush W&OD trail has always been here in Virginia – even as I was riding through the parched deserts of Arizona. What makes these the same is that each is a journey “inward” to the shrine of the heart of the “true rider.” Be clear that the ride out is the same as the ride in… each turn of the crank is an affirmation. Reverence to our own ride as “that of a lifetime” is the act of perfecting ourselves as true riders. The “behavior of the rider” is what moves the bike – it is well beyond “body and bike mechanics.” The ride leads back to It-self as the self began – the Ride is a circle.

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The Cycle of Dreams

I fell asleep upon the pains
of my gone-forever past
with your heart for my pillow
until I dreamed at last.

As my head rose and fell
with your silent passing breaths,
the deeper my hopes would drift
beyond the gates of death.

For me,
every night hides from the day
Every word I wish I’d said
Faded with your memory
and it’s the beating of your heart
that keeps gently waking me.

Dreams are hopes set aflame,
then the morning turns them to ash.
That’s when the sun is on the rise
and every ray becomes my path.

Each step reminds of this truth
we are sojourners out of time
So I leave you with this dream
of all I thought forever mine.

Still,
every day awaits the night
Every word I wished you’d say
rises with a memory
and it’s the beating of my heart
that keeps you following me.

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On Hope

If you give a deaf man a colorful music box with an ethereal dancing figurine within it. Do you hope that he hears the music? Do you hope that he enjoys the visual beauty and pirouette of the ballerina? Or perhaps you hope that he simply appreciates the gesture of giving or that he passes it along to someone who can hear the music he only imagines.

Reasonableness and thoughtfulness are necessary companions to hope. Just like every choir needs a tenor. And in our example above, there is always hope if you search for it… hope before action, and hope after action. If we allow ourselves to linger in the remembrance of the the divine, our actions will become second nature and quite consistent with “hope.” Thoughtfully listen to the entire choir, if you want to hear the tenor.

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On Sorrow

Too often we treat sorrow as the shadow in the light that is better-off ignored. We might find it as the single black sheep in the flock that doesn’t see the white sheep as different. This thin and mangled dog in need of nourishment and yet we shun it, send it away. Sorrow has a beauty and a note to play in the song of life. A soft and subtle glistening and the elegant markings of the Divine artisan. A shudder in the breath of the neyzan that quivers the registers of his ney.

We treat sadness and doubt as if it’s an unwanted limb. A blemish we wish we could rid. But sadness is a birthmark; to be examined for the beauty that gathers around it.

Our lives do more than endure sorrow, whether it has descend upon us through the actions or lack thereof by loved ones, significant others, lost lives and loves, and colleagues. Sorrow can be simply the pure essence of a misfortune that has yet to manifest; general malaise without reason, and so we create explanations for the inexplicable.

There are clusters of dense knots in the smooth and sinuous aloeswood. Still the wood burns as sweet, knowing the knots are but fragrant florets.

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Spring Heart

Spring is a time of renewal.
I’ve had more springtimes than years. Some kind of
daily vernal awareness dawns. Something changes
and there is a slight ache before the buds unfold,
yet it is all serene and beautiful. 

There are lovers who do not speak much anymore. 
God gives them each silence,
so they might hear.  I’ve cycled through
a visceral aching each day
until it has become my close friend. 

Then one day the pain betrays me and
I realize the ache I once loved,
is the promise of true love’s winter
wearing me down
to my spring heart.

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One Stays, One Leaves

theroom4So long as we hide within the shadows
in the fields behind our own abode,
the heart is never empty,
the heart is never full.

And so all wayfarers eventually leave
seeking their own light
thereby missing the flame
that could have been yours,
and in turn you missing theirs.

There is always a window to the world
where walls make a corner.

One stays, one leaves,
so who is accountable for what?
When all paths come and go
in one direction.

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