I recently read an article which states that there is no “one” person who will fulfill us and that many couples initiate a union with a foundation based on each being “on their best behavior,” implying that over time blemishes tarnish bliss. But optimistically, the article goes on to state that these couples should remain in the illusion (“lies”) and accept that nothing is 100% perfect. One reaction to this is that exclusive relationships are unnecessary and that limiting oneself, may obscure the path, presuming you seek the path through another. These are significant emotional, spiritual, and physical considerations in our lives.
From the perspectives of Sufism, I find that the reconciling between “The ONE” and “the one” is a delicate and immensely profound and purposeful matter. Life (and loving others within it) is like hopping from stone to stone (human to human) through the unfathomable depths of the stream of True Love. The ultimate destination or purpose, for which life is only a metaphor to us poets, is unspeakable, silent, timeless, placeless. What is Fana Fillah without Baqaa Billah? Do the Dervish not whirl with one hand up and one down. Human love is centered on object based encounters, while divine love prospers in a “loving realm.”
We should behold, not “attach,” the one-ness of another in the reflection of our own “mirror.” Tending to the internal mirror as well as to the externals are of equal importance. I do not love or undress before a lover, rather I disclose unto myself in their presence. All around us, love is being reflected back. I see my lover as the moon: beautiful, one, whole, and reflecting the light of a sun that would otherwise blind my eyes were I to look directly at it. I’ve been blind in this way before I was born, so I’ve spent a lifetime pondering a higher form of vision… as a seeker.
The turn key to true love lies within a locked heart that is only opened from within – no one else can see the keyhole, let alone find and insert the key. I cannot help but love, God does the rest. There are never two exclusive lovers per se, only One and One; and the loving from this origin of another human, outlasts the lives of either earthly lover or their inter-relational chemical reactions; whether they stay or fly off to another.
There is no need for quantity or “extra lovers.” Whether one million moons or just one moon, a lover always reflects the true light we seek, but only if we open ourselves up to the origin and look with our hearts, rather than eyes. Do not seek a lover, instead seek to love; it’s amazing who you will find…and who will find you.
Your lantern is BOTH a beacon for others to find you, and the illumination you need to find them. Tend to the lantern my friends, tend to your lanterns.
